Joy Comes in the Morning

To say that I've experienced secondhand trauma and tragedy in the last 6 months would be an understatement. About once a month for the last six months, something HUGE has happened at work with our clients: physical assaults, mental breakdowns, death, theft. You name it and it may have happened. Honestly, it has been by God's sovereignty that I have not firsthand witnessed it, although some of my coworkers were unfortunate enough to have either witnessed or been a part of some of the situations.

This week we learned of something tragic that happened to one of our clients who left about a month ago. And while today we don't know all of the details, we took time as a team to process, debrief, and grieve. We cried, reminisced, and processed how all of these tragedies affect us as advocates for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. As we processed someone brought up how we may tend to lose hope in humanity as batterers roam free and woman continue to be beaten, tortured, assaulted, stalked, and even killed.

I sat there for a minute, stopped eating my cupcake, and spoke up. Maybe it's simply because of my faith but I believe there is a purpose for everything that happens: life, death, pain, joy, riches, poverty, EVERYTHING. I cannot live not having HOPE. I believe that one day there will be no more pain, no more suffering, no more injustice. One day, humanity will suffer the consequences of its choices and divine justice will prevail. If I didn't have hope I would walk in circles fretting over all of the psychos walking free, all of the people who have been victimized, calling random crisis lines screaming about all of the crappy things I saw on the news that day and go into hibernation. Ok, maybe some of those things are exaggeration, but truly I would drive myself insane and would probably fall into a deep depression.

Our world is a big, scary place for people who do not have hope. I know, I've been there. I did fall into depression, a self-harming depression. I told someone today that I could not physically live if I didn't have hope. And that's true. I would make myself physically sick over worry and stress. And after spouting my two cents in the debriefing today, all I could think about was May of 2009: the week my grandpa and friend Angela Hopewell passed away. I didn't really grieve then. In fact, the best way to describe it is to use terms from the Scriptures. (Philippians 4:7)

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (emphasis mine)

The peace of God which surpasses all understanding. That's what enveloped me that May. Sure I cried when I listened to stories of how my grandpa and young Angela touched people's lives. I cried seeing Angela's parents look fondly upon her lifeless body in the casket and speak loving words of how much it meant that her Grace friends came to see her. My heart hurt to see my mother grieve the loss of a beloved parent. But deep down inside, I was at peace. And today I felt that peace again as others cried processing the tragedies we have experienced. No matter what happens today, or tomorrow or even what happened yesterday, God is on His throne. And He's not just sitting there watching passively as good and bad things happen. He is orchestrating every moment to be in line with His perfect will. He is the ruler of the Earth and He never takes a break, not even a potty break. It's not like He turns His back for a moment to grab a drink of water and people die, wars happen, sickness falls, poverty strikes. I don't always know why certain things happen. I can speculate, but I don't think I can ever fully say. But the one thing that hasn't and doesn't change is that God is in control and He is our comforter. So that while we may mourn right now, He brings joy in the morning. 

"For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5 (emphasis mine)

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

"But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed." 1 Peter 4:13

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10