Well... a lot has happened since I posted last. My bone graft surgery came and went. It was successful (Hallelujah). It's just a long road to full recovery. I'm back to eating mostly normal foods and normal speaking. My chin and upper jaw are still sore and probably will be for awhile. Who knows if I'll be able to smile normally for graduation. Just a lot of things that I never thought about are now at the forefront of my mind and things like this surgery become more scary, unsure, frustrating. I'm kinda having second thoughts. Not that I'm not going to go through with surgery cuz that would be absurd. But it's more I'm not appreciating these set backs. My affective forecasting is lacking (Dr. Edgington would greatly appreciate that last remark). I'm just ready to be back to normal.
Ever since we got back from Spring Break, I feel like I've been in panic mode. I didn't realize how much was due in such a short period of time. So last week was pretty miserable trying to do my every week items PLUS writing the first half of my senior sem paper which turned out to be 7 1/2 pages long. I can't wait to get it back to see how it ends up being.... But along with the average academic worries, I have all my RA stuff that I feel so behind in and feel like I've totally slacked in that area this semester. I just lost motivation in hall programming because no one was interested in them last semester. Plus we have fifty gazillion breaks and it seems like every weekend I have something planned even if it's just one day.
Ok so God has really been teaching me a lot this year about Love. True Love. Not human love, but the "supernatural" (if you will) love. As this Easter season is quickly approaching and as I'm reading "Living the Cross Centered Life" by CJ Mahaney love is so vastly redefined, which is a good thing and it's what I've been learning and it's how I want it to be. I just continue to struggle wrapping my head around what this all is. I don't think I'm supposed to understand but in the part where I'm supposed to be displaying this love and adequately explaining it to others. Maybe this doesn't make sense, but I have a lot on my mind and trying to process this whole learning thing. And I really haven't gotten a lot of sleep this weekend. Going home, waking up in sheer pain last night doesn't make for a restful weekend...
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