oh how punny...

2 weeks into the New Year. Wow.

It's been a pretty crazy 2 weeks too. I've done a lot of things that are new to me. I've done some pretty great things with some of my clients. Although with my new schedule, I'm working 2-10 M-F which makes my social life even more non-existent than it was before. But I can't say that it's been all that bad. I've had the opportunity to build up some of the relationships with my coworkers. Although sometimes it's hard not seeing my family all week when I live in the same house as them. It's kinda weird.

I should share that I completed task #1 on my previous post. I joined a gym! And I got sucked into signing up for a personal trainer. I've only met with him twice: once to do a fitness test and a goal/evaluation plan, and then the second was our first work out together. Whew! I am s-o-r-e!!! But I know it's all going to be worth it!! I've been looking at 5Ks for the spring time and trying to decide what would work best for me. I'm so serious about it I just wish I had someone to run it with me...

And honestly, this whole focusing on impacting people thing hasn't been that bad yet. I've been praying for my clients outside of work and trying to see Jesus in them and seeing what He sees in them. Not an easy task when I'm exhausted and frustrated but an interesting challenge most definitely. Try it sometime. Also it kind of doesn't coincide with my new year's goals which focus around, well, me. They are all about taking care of my body inside and out. Which, I guess taking care of myself inside would help me love people outwardly, wouldn't it?? I don't know, maybe that's just a justification. In any case, that's what's been going on.

Oh!! So today I actually had off of work (but that's because I work tomorrow) but I went to the gym this morning, ran some errands, came home and showered and just relaxed around my house all day which was absolutely glorious. I haven't done that in a long time. And it was nice having the house all to myself for awhile. It was also nice to just chat with my mom about my week after she got home from work because we really don't get to do that anymore with our opposite schedules. So I was talking about my gym experiences so far and I was telling her about my personal trainer whose name is Jon. When I mentioned his name, she gasped and her eyes got really big. I was a bit confused and concerned to be honest. I was like "Is there something I'm missing??" but she told me to continue with my story so I did but keeping her reaction in the back of my head. At the end of the story she explained herself. Apparently every day on her way to work she prays for me and my siblings and apparently she prays for our future spouses as well. Well apparently this morning she was praying for my and my future spouse and she was praying that I would meet a great Godly man and she felt like she heard "I already have provided that." :O And my mom was like ".... ok....." and the name "Jon" came to her. This of course freaked me out a bit. I know a few "Jon"s and a few "John"s. The 2 that came to my mind first were my personal trainer and this guy I knew back in high school. So that's why she had that reaction when I mentioned my personal trainer. Now it should be said, I don't know much about my pt Jon. I don't know if he is a Christian or how old he is or anything. It should also be said that I have absolutely no intention of ever being in any kind of relationship with the Jon I knew from high school, no matter how much he has changed. It should also be said, that I've been doing really well being single. Sure there are times when I look at couples and just long for the intimacy they have. But I think it has a lot more to do with my desire not to be physically intimate but to have that intimacy where you have a relationship with someone that goes beyond the surface; one where things are shared and there is no judgment, only love and trust and hope.


I shared this story with a few people tonight via text messages and I got mixed reactions. Most people were as freaked out as I was at first. Part of me wishes my mom wouldn't have told me. That I would have been kept in the dark. I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure now and just .... overwhelmed. I don't want anything to change right now. I thought this is what was supposed to happen. I'm supposed to be single for awhile. And again, I was totally content being that way. For the past 5 or so hours my mind has been swirling with thoughts of who "Jon/John" is. And part of my is sorry/sad that it's not the name I was hoping my mom would say. And she says she's sure she didn't hear a different name. Maybe this is just another challenge to test and see how close to God I am going to stay. Maybe this is just a temptation. Maybe she misunderstood.

Maybe I'm just scared.