Dear MMXI

Dear 2011, 

You have some big shoes to fill.

Let's take a brief recap of 2010. I finally got my bone graft done and the first part of my implant surgery completed. I graduated with a Bachelor's degree. I lived in San Diego all summer. I came home and got an AMAZING job within 2 weeks of applying for it (even though it did take me awhile to find). I made some friendships that have left a mark on my life. I've grown spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally. I got my first pair of TOMS as well as my first TWLOHA t-shirt. I started to learn how to line dance and I had my first "guy buys girl drink at a bar" memory. 

Some may say some of these do not qualify for 2010 to have "big shoes to fill." But let me tell you, 2010's shoes are GINORMOUS!! You should probably start now while you have virtually the entire year. I mean, you've already wasted 4 days. What have you been doing all this time?? 

Sincerely,

Me

Ok really, but in all seriousness and all things considered, 2010 was a pretty crazy amazing year. Also, it should be said, it coulda been worse and it coulda been better. My blog probably does not accurately portray my year since I tend to only blog when I have heavy and hard things on my mind and heart. But 2011 has had an interesting start, that's for sure.

This past month, really, I've been distracted by people in my life pressuring me. Both of my parents have made comments about hooking me up with guys they've met. My coworkers pressured me into signing up for online dating sites. (which was absolutely NO GOOD and I definitely regret that....) And that guy at the bar.... :/ ...... it all just went to my head. And so I actually started chatting with this guy I met on one of the online dating sites and he's a really nice guy and all, but once we started contacting more, I started freaking out. I'm not ready for that kind of relationship with a stranger. I'm supposed to be focusing on impacting other people's lives, not on marriage. And I was thinking back to that epiphany from back in October and I think it pertains to more than just marriage. I think the word marriage was just a key one at that time, but I think it means more than focusing on myself, which is what I was doing with the whole marriage issue.

I want to make a difference in someone else's life more than I want focus on myself right now. And getting into all that "You're 22, you should have a boyfriend" nonsense, I'm just going to wait on God's timing and keep on plugging away making a difference in other people's lives. (Still love my job, btw. Just in case I hadn't written it on my blog 50 bazillion times...) I think if the "right guy" shows up, I'll know because I won't panic and worry about it not being the right guy or the right time or whatever else. I've been praying about this issue and it's just not right.


Although, should I admit, I've been praying that someone I know right now would be the "right guy"?? : /