Summer

It finally feels like summer. And it's about halfway over.

I spent 5 days with Caleb, Kayla, Jeremy and Katie (although actually I only spent like 3 days with Katie... and she worked all of those days... so that was sad...). It was the best vacation ever. Just for the fact that I spent it with them. It doesn't matter that I never saw a beach. Or that it rained the first 3 days. Or that we didn't stay in a glamorous hotel. Nothing else mattered but that I spent some great quality time (QT) with these people. I miss them soooo much!! I cried the first 20 minutes after I left them the last day. It gets harder and harder to say goodbye just because I don't know when I'll see them next. Especially Caleb. I hadn't seen him since my graduation (May 2010). It was sooo good to see him and I got to spend some QT catching up on life with him. And it's not like he and I get into the deep stuff but it's just good hear what's going on his life. And I got to spend a lot of QT with Kayla which hasn't happened since before graduation. I mean she and I have chatted and seen each other but it's not like we've had those conversations about the deep places like we used to. And it was just like the old times. The guys playing video games. The girls talking and shopping. And playing silly games together. And going to Steak N Shake. And teasing each other.
And eating together.
And going to church together.
And sleeping in near vicinities from each other.
And shopping together.
And laughing together. 

And then I came home to move to my apartment. Which I'm moved in all now. It took all week because I didn't just have one day to move. But it feels really weird. I'm so close to home and yet I'm not going "home" every night. And it's not the same living in an apartment without Katie, Emily, and Val. It's just weird... I almost freaked out yesterday thinking I just wasn't ready for this: real life. Independence. But I kept thinking that God had a hand in bringing this all together so He has to have something planned. I may not know what anytime soon, but it's not for me to know until that time, right?

And so though my heart still aches from missing my friends, and I'm digging my heels in the dirt at the prospect of joining the real, independent world, I press on. Because, like the speaker at church said this morning, "God knows my tomorrows better than I know my yesterdays." And trials and tribulations WILL come. But God is always on His throne. And I have everything to look forward including spending eternity worshiping at His feet in His Kingdom. And there may be days I'm living off of pb&j and driving on fumes, but He is faithful and He will provide for my every need. And I am more apt to be a pessimist and forget these things, but think of all the horrible, selfish, depressing things I can possibly imagine.

"Yet You love me. And that consumes me. And I'll stand up again and do so willingly..." Relient K