walls

i'm putting up emotional walls between me and san diego. i've found myself pushing away anthing that could hold me down here, in good ways and bad. i've come to the point where i don't want to do anything here anymore. i mean sure there's plenty i still want to do and see but not now. not under these circumstances. not with these people (whoever they are). and it's not even like i sit around upset thinking "i hate everyone and everything so i'm not going to let them close!" most of the time i don't even realized i'm doing it.


all things considered, i think i've marked off san diego. it's been great but i don't think God wanted me here long term. i screwed up and let too many things happen that shouldn't have happened if i was going to be here longer than the summer. i'm not going to write them out here. i'm not ready to be that vulnerable yet. but let's just say, san diego "ain't gon' happen!" (to quote my dearest glozell)