disappointments

Welp another birthday has come and gone.
The only thing that made this birthday stand out from the others is that it was hands down the worst birthday yet.

Starting out in the morning locking myself out of my house without any car keys or anything was super classy. I had to call my dad and he had to drive 1 hr round trip to let me in. I was just thankful that a) he wasn't super busy b) my car was unlocked c) it wasn't that cold outside d) i had a blanket in my car.

I had to miss my free drink at caribou coffee because I didn't have time to get it before I was meeting people for lunch. Lunch was alright. I had a coupon for a free birthday stir fry at BD's Mongolian BBQ which is always delicious.

Then I had to work 2-10 pm. Just where I want to be on my birthday. And then I came home to a dark house and drank some wine coolers and went to bed. I got all sorts of "Happy Birthday" comments on Facebook, but only 3 people texted me (Autumn, Jacki, and Courtney) to wish my a Happy Birthday and NO ONE called me.

Maybe I'm just way too sensitive, but that really hurt. All day my heart just ached. The people that I care the most about didn't even care even to even send me a text message!!! Just comments on Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I know we're all busy, but no one even called or texted before or after my birthday... No. One. Maybe these are just signs of the times, signs that we're getting older....

Here's another thought to chew on: Maybe I care too much. And I do so unconsciously. And maybe when other people don't care as much about me as I do them, I remember that I care too much and it just hurts all the more. If I care about you, you'll know.

But I'm not at Grace anymore. And I'm lonely and hurting. And I feel the only thing I have going for me right now is an awesome job. And I don't know what to do anymore...