heart.broken.

This week has been a rough week for people everywhere. I follow TWLOHA on twitter and tumblr and for the amount of suicides they have reported this week, it blows me out of the water. Last night on the news they were reporting the backlogging of rape kits in Detroit. It was actually the topic of the Law and Order: SVU episode last night too and I read about it in a magazine not too long ago too. This last issue actually makes me livid.

Not angry.

Not upset.

Not sad.

LIVID.


To know there are rapists walking free because we don't put a priority to getting these tested and putting the perps away is wrong on soooo many levels. And the Detroit crime lab actually had to close last year because they couldn't afford to keep it open. So the MSP actually have to do all the testing. Which puts the backlog at thousands. And while we wait for it all to be tested, the statute of limitations runs out, the evidence gets ruined or lost. And how many of those kits could have put away a perp before someone else had to be raped or worse?? And these victims haven't just been traumatized once and it's over. They are traumatized a again when they have to tell police what happened and then given all the tests at the hospital for the rape kit. They no longer have a chance at a normal life. Plust they aren't the only people affected. The victims friends and family are also effected.
Then back to the suicide issue: there are people all over who don't have the hope I have found. They don't think they are worth living! I've been there. I know what it's like to feel that. But I'm alive. Christ intervened for me at the last minute. And to think there are people out there who can't hear His voice calling them. Who don't know there is One who makes life worth living. Who comforts us in all our troubles. Who loves us unconditionally!! And even if they do know it or have heard it previously, they don't believe it.


And last night as I'm fuming through all of my emotions from all of these frightening realities it hit me.

I would rather make a difference in someone's life than get married right now.

For those of you who don't know me, that seemes a reasonable epiphany. For those of you who know me, know this is a HUGE thing. I'm the girl who watches all of the wedding tv shoes and looks at wedding dresses online. I'm the girl who has a dream house and wants to adopt little girls from China. For me to NOT want this right now is a huge hurdle in my life. And this epiphany is empowering. I want to do this right now. Forget about loving someone romantically, I want to give someone love who has never felt it or has forgotten how freeing true love is. (True love being the love Christ has given us) I'm only 21. We have a longer life expectancy now than we had 50 years ago. I have all the time in the world to get married and have kids, etc. Right now, there are hurting people who can't wait for me to get married before something happens to them. I have too much to give to let it sit and waste away waiting to find "Mr. Right."

I'm bursting at the seams trying to figure out how God can use me and these passions I have. If I knew how to reduce the backlog of rape kits myself, I probably wouldn't be sitting here writing about it. But now as I finish this blog, the research begins. What is something practical I can do to make a difference?? And how long until I can start?? Because I can't stand sitting around anymore.